Where I Stand
by Illbehisangel10
Summary: Thayer wants to know where he stands with Emma. Emma misreads the situation and receives advice from the most unexpected source. My take on the last few episodes because I'm for Emma and Thayer.


"I just want to know where I stand, Emma." Thayer was shaking. This woman was absolutely amazing, absolutely brilliant, and absolutely one of the kindest people he'd ever met. The problem was that she was not absolutely his.

They'd seemed pretty solid right until they'd slept together. Since then, she'd been acting weird.

Emma slid her hand over his. "What if- I don't know how to answer that?" Emma knew she loved Thayer, but she knew that sleeping with him had been a mistake. She had wanted to get Ethan out of her head. She had thought she had been ready with him and then he dropped the Sutton bomb on her.

Thayer was different. He had shown her that he would always be there. She just didn't know how to tell him that the sex, while great, had happened before she was ready? "I-" but she was interrupted by the sound of sirens and blue and red lights.

* * *

~Sutton's Bedroom~

"I forgot what we were even talking about." Emma was hoping she could stall this conversation until she could talk to Laurel or Mads- okay, maybe not Mads- about it.

Thayer walked around the room and ran a hand through his hair. "Emma, no, you didn't. You didn't want to answer it then and you're avoiding answering it now." He sat down next to Emma on the bed. "Emma, you know I want to be here for you, but I need you to be mine."

Emma sat in stunned silence. It seemed like he was saying that if she wouldn't continue going to bed with him, he wouldn't stay with her.

"Thayer…I, I don't know what to say. I don't think I can do that. There are just a lot of things I have to work through."

"You have to make your choice, Emma."

"I can't! Thayer, I don't know, I haven't thought it all through yet!" they were standing face-to-face now, Thayer looking furious and Emma looking near tears.

Thayer snatched his jacket off the bed, "Let me know when you figure it out." And he stalked to the window and left.

Emma sat down on her bed and choked back tears.

* * *

~Mercer Entryway~

"Hey, I just came by to get my stu- have you been crying?" Ethan was clearly looking to get in and out quickly. He'd made it all the way to the couch he had been sleeping on before he'd noticed how red Emma's eyes were.

"It's nothing. Thayer and I got into a fight."

Ethan knew he'd regret saying this and suppressed a groan as he did so, "What happened?"

"Ethan really," Emma sighed as she sat down, "don't worry about it."

"Emma, look, Dan told me I had to choose. To choose between family and you, or well, Sutton, but he means both of you. He's my brother. I'm choosing him. But I can't walk out that door without you telling me why you're crying. I couldn't live with myself if during our last conversation you were crying and I just walked away."

"Okay." She gestured for him to sit down on the couch with her. "Well, you probably figured out- ugh, this is so awkward with you!" She ran her hands over her face and then absently played with her hair in a nervous gesture.

"You and Thayer slept together, anyway." Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Okaaay, yeah. Well, I've regretted it since, because I realized that even though I love him, it was just to prove to myself that he meant as much to me as you did. That if I was willing to go there with you, I needed to be willing with him. I thought it would cement what we had."

"Emma, save the explanation for him. Just tell me why you're upset."

"Sorry." Emma began to twist her fingers nervously. "Well, I've been acting a little differently since then and he confronted me about it. He basically said that I have to be prepared to keep our relationship at that level or else there is no relationship. It just seems so unlike him." She put her head in her hands and then swept her fingers through her hair. "I don't know what to do."

Dan's ultimatum had come at the worst time. This would have been a golden opportunity for Ethan to win Emma back. Swallowing his pride and his desires, Ethan turned toward her, "Emma, are you sure that's what he meant? It does seem unlike him. I'm not his biggest fan, but even I can't see him doing that."

"I know, that's what makes this so hard! I thought I knew him better than this." Emma clapped her hands together and got a hold of herself again, embarrassed at her actions, "but this really isn't something I should be burdening you with." Emma smiled and stood up. "Thanks for the ear."

Ethan joined her on his feet and grabbed his bag. "Hey, no problem." He began to head for the door and then turned around and walked back up to Emma. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "talk to him, let him explain." He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Goodbye, Emma." And he walked out the door.

* * *

Emma picked up her phone at least ten times that day to start dialing Thayer's number only to chicken out and put the phone back down. Finally she decided to just talk to him at the club that night while everyone else was at the party.

"Thayer?" Emma pushed the door open and saw him standing stiffly with his back to the door. "Hey, there you are. Can we talk? I know I should have called or at least texted but-"

"It's okay," Thayer cut her off sharply. "I guess I have my answer." Emma was still frozen in the doorway, unable to move due to her shock over his tone of voice and demeanor. "Thayer…?"

His head turned toward her just a fraction of an inch, "shut the door," he sighed.

Emma quietly shut the door behind her and moved across the room toward his still rigid form. Hesitantly, she reached up to put a hand on his shoulder. She felt his muscles tense even more at the contact. "Come on, sit down with me. Let's talk." He shrugged her hand off but took a seat on the couch anyway.

Emma took the seat next to him and took both of his hands in hers. "Thayer, I love you." His eyes met hers. The look nearly broke her. "But? I know there's a but coming."

"Yeah, there is." He scoffed and started to pull his hands away. Emma held tighter. "This choice that you want me to make, could you clarify it a little?"

Anger flashed in Thayer's eyes. "Clarify it, Emma?" Thayer jumped up from the couch so he was glaring down at her. "What the hell is there to clarify? It's pretty simple: him or me."

"Him or you?" Emma joined Thayer on her feet so they were closer to eye level. "Are you really asked me to choose between you and _Ethan_?" Emma asked incredulously. How could that be the big choice he wanted her to make? That choice had been made. Ethan's ship had sailed.

"Emma, what did you think I was-" but Thayer didn't get to finish his question as Emma had crashed her lips to his and was winding her arms around his neck. They moved back and re-situated until they were on the couch with Emma straddling Thayer's lap. She had her fingers threaded in his hair and he was holding her tight to him, one hand on her hip and one at the nape of her neck.

Thayer's brain chose that moment to catch up with his body. He still needed her to say the words, to hear her promise. He pulled back from the kiss. "Emma, this means you chose me, right?" He asked on a chuckle, but she could still see the unease in his eyes.

Emma had a huge grin on her face. Of course it means I want you. I didn't even think that was the choice you were asking about."

This brought him back to the question he'd been about to ask when she'd all but attacked him. "What did you think I was asking, Emma?" Emma slid off of his lap so that she was one again seated next to him on the couch. "And if this wasn't the choice you thought I was asking you about, how do I know you're really done with him?"

"Thayer, I am so done with Ethan. There was so much drama. I don't have to recount all of it for you. I don't ever want to go back to that. He and I had something special, but it's over now. I'm with you. Really." She brought her hand up to his face and was leaning in to him again when he stopped her.

"That brings us back to, what did you think I was asking?" Thayer was confused, to say the least.

Emma got up and walked to the other side of the room. She put her hands in her pockets as she turned to face him, "Thayer, it's nothing. Really, if that's all you were asking then we're fine." She put on the smile that had been helping her fool everyone since coming to Arizona, but even that couldn't hide her unease at the topic.

"Emma, you have to tell me." Thayer stood and crossed the small space between them. "Come on, you can tell me." He put his hands on her shoulders and slid them down her arms until he could lace his fingers with hers. If she loved him, then what could be the problem?

She was still staring at the ground so he moved one set of their intertwined hands up to her chin so he could tilt her gaze up to meet his. "Please?"

"Thayer, you mean so much to me, but I can't sleep with you again. Not right now. I'm not ready." She dropped her eyes again, feeling ashamed.

Thayer's eyes went wide. He dropped her hands so that he could cup her face. "Oh Emma." He leaned down to gently place a kiss on her lips. "That's what you thought this was about? We can go at your pace. I would never push you for anything. Being with you, knowing that you trusted me enough to share that with me, was the highest high I could imagine, but that doesn't mean it needs to keep happening."

Emma snaked her hands up and around Thayer's shoulders and neck, "so you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? If you're not ready, you're not ready. I can respect that." He pulled her close and rested his hands at the small of her back. He let out a sigh, sure that they'd reached the end of this conversation.

Emma, however still had more to say to clear the air, "because I thought you would connect the dots to Ethan and my past with him."

Thayer went rigid for the second time that night. "Should I be connecting those dots?"

"No, Thayer. I mean, yes, part of why I wanted to go there with you was because it was a step he and I didn't take and I just wanted to put that part of my past behind me. But that does not mean that he is the reason I don't want to continue. He was part of the motivation for wanting to take that step, the other part is that I love you. But I don't want to continue for me, and for me only.

"So, we're good?" Emma looked up hopefully, while still in Thayer's arms.

Thayer kissed the top of her head, "yeah, Emma, I think we're good. We've still got a long way to go, but at least I know where I stand."

They relaxed in each other's embrace in the middle of Thayer's room.

…Until they heard the commotion coming from the main dining hall at the club.


End file.
